Friday, November 8, 2013

Stringy Sentences





A stringy sentence is made up of several complete thoughts strung together with words like 'and', 'so', or 'but'. Stringy sentences are so long that the reader forgets the beginning of the sentence before reaching the end.

To fix a stringy sentence, you can
  • break the sentence into two or more sentences
  • turn some of the complete thoughts into phrases or subordinate clauses
Look at the examples below.

Stringy: My best friend's name is Vutha and he lives next door and so we do many things together.
Revised: My best friend's name is Vutha. He lives next door . We do many things together.
Revised: My best friend's name is Vutha, and he lives next door. We do many things together.

Stringy: I try to teach my friend things and he keeps forgetting and I feel bad because he's always helping me.
Revised: I try to teach my friend things. He keeps forgetting. I feel bad because he's always helping me.
Revised: I try to teach my friend things, and he keeps forgetting. I feel bad because he's always helping me.

Stringy: Many students attend classes all morning, and then they work all afternoon, and they also have to study at night, so they are usually exhausted by the weekend.
Revised: Many students attend classes all morning and then they work all afternoon. They also have to study at night, so they are usually exhausted by the weekend.

No comments: