Monday, November 11, 2013

Choppy Sentences

Choppy sentences are too short sentences which come together. Words are repeated. They are tedious and hard to understand.


We revise choppy sentences by using coordination, subordination, and embedding to combine them with adjacent sentences.

[1] Use coordination 
Coordination pair similar elements -- words, phrases, or clauses, giving equal weight to each.

[2] Use subordination 
Subordination place the more important idea in independent clause and less important one in dependent clause.

[3] Embedding 
Embedding is the working of additional words and phrases into a sentence.

Look at the examples below:

Choppy: I like dogs. Dogs make good pets. Dogs are friendly. Dogs are loyal.
Revised: I like dogs because they are good pets. They are friendly and loyal.

Choppy: Vegetables taste good. Vegetables are easy to prepare. Vegetables are good for health.
Revised: Vegetables taste good and are easy to prepare, and they are good for health. 

Choppy: Wind is an enduring source of power. Water is also an unlimited energy source. Dams produce hydraulic power. They have existed for a long time. Windmills are relatively new.
Revised: Both wind and water are enduring sources of power. Dams have produced hydraulic power for a long time, but windmills are relatively new.